Reflections

Today I was out running errands around town. I walked down the sidewalk of a local strip mall and was reminded why my husband lovingly gave me my second middle name--Grace.

The tip of my flip flop caught the crack in the sidewalk. No seriously--A CRACK! It got caught on a crack and I flew forward. I caught myself and tried to look as graceful as I could but I mean, I HAVE TO live up to my name, you know! My landing probably didnt look so great but I was on 2 feet none-the-less.

As I gathered my composure and continued walking, I glanced to my left and caught my
reflection in a store window. WHOA! I must be looking into one of those distorted fun house mirrors. Who is that big girl? I had to remind myself, "Duh, its YOU! How many times are you going to ask the same question before you do something about it?"

Well, I am doing something about it but gosh, its going soooooooo slow. I hate that. I want results fast and now! Thats the reason Ive continuously failed at this over the last 3 years.

I've been going to Curves at least 4 times a week but the eating plan isnt exactly working. Probably because Im not doing it. I started it and ate 2 of the six daily meals. Just what I thought would happened, happened.

I couldnt do it. Eating 6 times a day is ridiculous! I have a hard time eating all day long. Now sit me down in front of a buffet and I have no problem getting my one big meal in! But constantly eating, thats a different story.

I understand how the idea works and I KNOW it works. I just have pull up my bootstraps and do it!

But remembering how fast the weight came off years ago when I STOPPED eating is making this psychologically difficult for me. I want to do what I did before but that is impossible. I have too many responsibilites and having energy is a requirement. Lashing out (because of the irritability starvation causes) would be unacceptable to me.

And who knows. If I did it again, it might kill me this time.

Reflecting back at the struggle it was makes me want to do it the healthy way this time. EAT RIGHT=HAVE ENERGY, HAVE ENERGY=WORKOUT.

I can do this. In fact, let me go crack open a can of tuna right now! Nothing says "Yummmmmmmmm" like fish and lettuce for breakfast!